Learning Trade Forex

I lost -40% today. Something is really flawed with my attitude regarding trading and money. You can understand that I don't want to talk about it so probably I will not respond to comments. My account dropped little bit below level where it was this summer. This is biggest loss of money with trading I ever had. So all work in last two months is now gone. With first of this month I was at break even for the year and this week I gained 7.5%. It seems that whenever I get back to my starting point I make sure to quickly lose as much as I can. I played that game few times this year. It's like I want to lose. Also it seems to me that I don't value money gained by trading as real value. I guess that deep down I believe this is not work but gambling. I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud.
Funny thing is that I was really on good track last two months. I was thinking that I finally moved away from problems. Well little averaging yesterday was first sign of trouble. You can't run from yourself. If you have problems or issues they will find a way out and materialize themselves. If you are alcoholic it doesn't matter for how long you are sober you are always one drink away from abyss.